Rediscovering My Journey (And My Yoga Book Addiction)

Some of you might be wondering, “What’s Nebella Yoga all about?” You may have noticed the lack of yoga on my website recently—or even at all. I’ve asked myself the same question countless times. Today, instead of ignoring it, I want to share a story that nearly extinguished my love for yoga but is now helping me slowly reignite it.

In 2020, fresh from yoga teacher training, life threw me one of those curveballs. Like many, I was in the middle of lockdown, facing a challenging of a forced house move—but this wasn’t just any move. I had to pack up my son’s room. My son passed away in 2017, leaving behind an emptiness that no amount of yoga could ever fully heal. Trying to manage this emotionally and physically was overwhelming. On top of that, I injured my back, leaving me with two bulging discs. After years of physio and chiropractor visits, nothing worked. I was in constant pain until I resorted to steroid injections this year. My body wasn’t the only thing that suffered—my mind, confidence, and connection to yoga took a hit too.

As I tried to cope, I started buying yoga books. Lots and lots of yoga books. One book became two, two became ten, and now I have over 100 (and probably as many online courses to match). No, I haven’t read them all—I’ve barely scratched the surface! I thought I could shop my way back to my practice, but spoiler alert: it didn’t work.

The more I bought, the further away I felt from yoga. I gained weight from grief and menopause, and fear of pain kept me from exercising. The joy I once found in yoga faded away. I lost sight of why I started yoga in the first place. To make matters worse, I pressured myself to do more—read more, study more—to overcome my imposter syndrome. That didn’t work either.

But something has shifted. Today, as I sit here in the south of France, renovating a beautiful farmhouse with my husband, I finally managed to get back on my mat for the first time in nearly three years. I’m unfit, overweight, and deconditioned—but none of that matters because I’m moving again. My goal is simple: to move my body every day, at my own pace, with no pressure for perfection.

It breaks my heart to think of how much passion I once poured into Nebella Yoga, only to lose my confidence along the way. But it’s time to rebuild that dream, one gentle step at a time. I won’t chase perfection or comparison. This is about reclaiming my practice, for me.

If you’re wondering about all those yoga books? Maybe I’ll finally read them. Or maybe they’ll continue to sit pretty on the shelf while I focus on what truly matters—getting back on my mat, one small step at a time.

If you’re still with me, thank you for being here. I’d love for you to join me on this journey—whether it’s sharing your own story, cheering me on, or just taking that first step back to your own practice. My website is live, and I hope to share tips, routines I’ve found helpful, and maybe guides and meditations over time. You can sign up for my newsletter to stay updated. Nebella Yoga even has an assistant that can help you create your own routines and help make adjustments if you're strugglinh with poses—give it a try!

This is just the beginning of coming back home—to myself, to my practice, and to the essence of Nebella Yoga.

Let’s take this journey together.